Coping With Holiday Grief After Pregnancy & Infant Loss

The holiday season can be tough as it is, then add the weight of grief to that and it can be a very isolating, overwhelming, and emotional end to the year. We know that many bereaved families are struggling. Read below for some ideas on how to cope, and please don't hesitate to reach out to us for additional support.

• Simplify, Simplify, Simplify. It's okay to decline invitations and not go to every single party (or any). By communicating with your family and friends, you will relieve yourself from past expectations. What are some ways you can simplify the "stress" of the holiday season?
• Acknowledge The Loss of Your Baby. Gift giving can be especially hard during family functions. All the kids are opening their gifts and your child is not there to open their gifts. Or maybe you were supposed to still be pregnant for this season. What can you do to honor your child during this time?
• Make A Plan, Then Make A Back-Up Plan. Are you able to attend the event with a trusted friend? Is there a "safe space" (guest bedroom, outdoor space, your car) you can go to if the emotions become overwhelming? It's okay to the let the host know you can only stay for a certain amount of time. Can you bring a "comfort kit" with you including some things like worry stones, stress ball, essential oils, beaded bracelet to fidget with, etc.? If you feel a grief burst coming on, what will you do to cope?
• "There Is No Reward For Speed" - Dr. Alan Wolfelt. Take it slow. Think about your baby during these times. Talk to others about your baby and allow them to see that it's "okay" to mention your child's name. Do you feel rushed in your grief during the holiday season? What can you do to slow down? What can you ask from others to help you during this time?
• Take Advantage Of Online Shopping. Most stores have adapted to offering delivery or drive-up pick-up. Stores will be filled of triggers - it's okay to do all of your shopping online. If you do have to shop in-person, bring headphones with you and listen to a motivating playlist or podcast. How do you plan to shop this holiday season? Or will you decide not to gift give this year?
• Give Yourself Grace. It's normal to feel ALL the emotions - anger, jealousy, joy, sadness, peace. Embrace them, know these feelings will pass, and know that you are not alone in feeling this way. How can you communicate your feelings with your close supporters?

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