1 in 4 women will experience a pregnancy or infant loss.
The 1 in 4 statistic is often used by health professionals in a way to try and take away some of the pain their patient is feeling after experiencing a pregnancy or infant loss - to explain that it’s “common.” That miscarriage is something that many women experience, that losing a baby happens to hundreds of families each day. While bringing up the commonality may be an explanation it's not the mother's fault, it doesn't take away the fact that bereaved parents immediately feel isolated after they have learned of the loss of their baby. Feelings of guilt and anger take over. Questioning why this happened to them, why this happened to their baby.
Yes, losing a baby happens much more than we realize. But that doesn’t mean the bereaved families experiencing these losses feel any less alone in their journeys. The truth is that you are the only one who truly knows your experience and the love you felt for your baby. Not even your partner can know the inner workings of your grief. You deserve all the support you need to navigate your grief journey and to incorporate your loss into your new normal.
It’s not just a statistic. It's me.
Grandparents grieve twice after the loss of a baby.
First, grandparents are mourning the devastating loss of their precious grandchild, who they’ve already created future dreams with. They may have imagined themselves teaching their grandchild a hobby, going on a special vacation, sharing family traditions, or simply just enjoying their time together. From the moment a pregnancy is announced, there is a future of a new generation. And the moment that is taken away, the loss of those precious dreams is forever grieved.
Grandparents also experience another loss after a baby has died: their own child’s former self. The bereaved parent is changed in ways they only truly know, but the grandparents often observe these changes and mourn for the person they've always known. As a parent, you desperately yearn to protect your child from pain, but this pain can’t be fixed. Knowing you can't take the suffering away from your precious child is hurtful, confusing, and downright maddening at times.
It's not to say that grandparents are grieving "more" than the parents who have lost their baby. Grief, pain and suffering shouldn't be compared as it's so unique to each person who is experiencing it. Grandparents are trying to navigate their own journey of grief, which can be very complicated, and they deserve support as they mourn their grandbaby's death.
Grandparents grieve, too.
This is where we share YOUR stories - your loss matters, your baby matters, you always matter.